I just noticed that drivers in the Philippines really takes the meaning of using hand signals to heart.
Everyday, I encounter taxi drivers, truck drivers, private car drivers rolling down windows and literally using their hand to turn... Man, that's what signal lights are for. If you deny them the turn they will be pissed at you and you can see them cussin' at you and stuff... Where the hell in world did it state that if you wave your hand out the vehicle people should just stop and drop everything to let you pass....
Tricycle drivers and motorcycle drivers are the worst... Instead of using hand since it's occupied.. they use their feet.. they kick in the air before turning...
Motorcycle drivers can't even wait for the traffic lights... They have to squirm to the first lane while the light is red and as soon as the light turns green.. They all speed up so slow... I don't get it... Then when driving on the road.. they like to take a whole lane during traffic they squeeze in the middle lane.. and they take u turns on pedestrian lane... And we have a stupid law that the car driver is always at fault when you hit a motorcycle or a pedestrian even if they are jaywalking...
As they say, if you can drive in Manila, you can drive anywhere else...
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The Brown Out
I wonder who on earth thought of the word Brown out?
To the rest of the world it is known as black out. Did the Filipino who thought of this thought that a black guy came up with the word black out???? So since Filipinos are known as the brown race, he decided to just call it brown out???
Sometimes, I don't know what to think anymore... We live in our own little world.
To the rest of the world it is known as black out. Did the Filipino who thought of this thought that a black guy came up with the word black out???? So since Filipinos are known as the brown race, he decided to just call it brown out???
Sometimes, I don't know what to think anymore... We live in our own little world.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
The Ma.
Did you ever have a classmate who signed her name as Ma. Kristina or Ma. Cecilia and the likes???
Why don't they just write their whole damn name...??? Why write Ma.? Are they supposed to be hillbillys? Hey Ma where's the porrigdge?
I'm sure if they went abroad, people will think their names really were Ma. Kristina and Ma. Cecilia.
3 letters lang tinamad pa.
Just a thought.
Why don't they just write their whole damn name...??? Why write Ma.? Are they supposed to be hillbillys? Hey Ma where's the porrigdge?
I'm sure if they went abroad, people will think their names really were Ma. Kristina and Ma. Cecilia.
3 letters lang tinamad pa.
Just a thought.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Remote
Don't you ever had the feeling that the remote doesn't work well under stress?
Like this one time back in high school... I was watching porn in my sisters bedroom since she inherited the old betamax player... where in i got a laser disc player in my room... Talk about favoritism...
Anyways, in school you can't trade porn laser disc movies... it's just impossible... It has like an original porn cover with titles like, pretty in pink, hanky panky, talk dirty to me etc... in bold prints... and it won't even fit in your school bag... So back in the day we used to pass around betamax.
I remember as clear as day when it was my turn to take home The Art of Desire that weekend... I was so excited for Saturday when no one will be home...
So, around 3pm in the afternoon, I went in my sister's room and watched porn with moderate volume... Damn that Savanah is one overly delevoped babe... Then suddenly the maid walked in with fresh laundry!!! And the damn remote wasn't working... The harder I pressed the more Savanah moaned in delight....
A few weeks later that maid quit... Maybe she could take the driver's harrassment but she never could take a 13 year old master debater.
Like this one time back in high school... I was watching porn in my sisters bedroom since she inherited the old betamax player... where in i got a laser disc player in my room... Talk about favoritism...
Anyways, in school you can't trade porn laser disc movies... it's just impossible... It has like an original porn cover with titles like, pretty in pink, hanky panky, talk dirty to me etc... in bold prints... and it won't even fit in your school bag... So back in the day we used to pass around betamax.
I remember as clear as day when it was my turn to take home The Art of Desire that weekend... I was so excited for Saturday when no one will be home...
So, around 3pm in the afternoon, I went in my sister's room and watched porn with moderate volume... Damn that Savanah is one overly delevoped babe... Then suddenly the maid walked in with fresh laundry!!! And the damn remote wasn't working... The harder I pressed the more Savanah moaned in delight....
A few weeks later that maid quit... Maybe she could take the driver's harrassment but she never could take a 13 year old master debater.
The Collar
You see I have broad shoulders... So I hate it when my shirts after being washed by the maid has this 2 pointy parts sticking out just beside the collar...
So one day I couldn' t take it anymore... I just dedicated a day to find huge ass hangers so that the shirt's weight would rest on the shoulders not halfway from the collar....
Going back and fourth scouring malls, finally i saw wooden hangers meant for suits... I think even if it's expensive, it's worth it and it will mean less cancer cells for me.... So I went for it....
Told the maid to use all these particular hangers for me..... Even in hanging wet clothes... Ok, so far so good...
But every once in a while the maids would quit cause our driver would sexually harrass them... Sometimes, the maid sticks around if she's the type of lady... But most often than not, they all quit... Especially the good looking ones.... My mom by the way has no idea!!!
So today I'm back to wearing shirts with protrusion beside the collar.... The worst thing is... Once the shirt is damaged.. Ain't nothing you can do about it....
So one day I couldn' t take it anymore... I just dedicated a day to find huge ass hangers so that the shirt's weight would rest on the shoulders not halfway from the collar....
Going back and fourth scouring malls, finally i saw wooden hangers meant for suits... I think even if it's expensive, it's worth it and it will mean less cancer cells for me.... So I went for it....
Told the maid to use all these particular hangers for me..... Even in hanging wet clothes... Ok, so far so good...
But every once in a while the maids would quit cause our driver would sexually harrass them... Sometimes, the maid sticks around if she's the type of lady... But most often than not, they all quit... Especially the good looking ones.... My mom by the way has no idea!!!
So today I'm back to wearing shirts with protrusion beside the collar.... The worst thing is... Once the shirt is damaged.. Ain't nothing you can do about it....
The Change
Have you been in a situation where you were in a hurry but you have to buy something....?
I stopped Dairy queen to buy Ice cream just before I go up my apartment, the line was long... ok, it's worth the wait since I've been wanting to have a dilly bar...
After office one Saturday, I stopped by Jollibee to grab something to eat for lunch... I was hungry and I wanted to go to my place to play video game with a buddy....
On both occasions, after I ordered and paid for everyting... The lady would put the money I paid to the cash register and take out the change...
Don't you just hate it when the cashier she or it would count the damn change on your hand... I feel like I'm begging for money and it takes a while and it's just flat out annoying!!!
Hesus Maria Joseph....!!! Just count the damn change and slam it on my hand. Damn!!!
I stopped Dairy queen to buy Ice cream just before I go up my apartment, the line was long... ok, it's worth the wait since I've been wanting to have a dilly bar...
After office one Saturday, I stopped by Jollibee to grab something to eat for lunch... I was hungry and I wanted to go to my place to play video game with a buddy....
On both occasions, after I ordered and paid for everyting... The lady would put the money I paid to the cash register and take out the change...
Don't you just hate it when the cashier she or it would count the damn change on your hand... I feel like I'm begging for money and it takes a while and it's just flat out annoying!!!
Hesus Maria Joseph....!!! Just count the damn change and slam it on my hand. Damn!!!
The Dentist II
Right now, I have a good dentist but somehow he's so busy that a simple cleaning procedure would be done by his assistant. A guy who has shakey hand and would cause me to bleed when he cleans my teeth... Talk about shakey hands but somehow EC trained me to endure all those so I didn't mind so much but I have to pay the same amount of cash when I have the good dentist do it or his assistant. Rip off....
Anyways, just this year if i remember correctly.... I'm scheduled to have my teeth cleaned... So when I went to the dentist's clinic, as usual he was busy with someone so the lady ask me, would the assistant do? I said fine whatever... So when I went in, the male assisant apparently quit and he was replaced by this hot and sexy assistant... And everytime she would check my teeth for cavities I get to rest my face/head on her soft boob.... hahahah... Now we're talking...
One time I struck a conversation with her... Since teeth whitening just popped in my head that's what i asked about... She smiled and took a look on the charts.... Comparing my teeth and determining which shade i was... Bottom line price was 20K... Expensibo!!!
So I asked for a discount, then she doesn't have the power to give it so she refered me to the head dentist which I asked again... Can I have a discount? So he said 16K at the same time I was saying ahh... maybe 18K.... Then came silence... Boy was that an ackward moment of silence....
Anyways, he said he guarantees that I'll get 2 shades whiter and I asked if he can make it as white as a black guy's teeth? He said no.... asians have no possibility of getting that white so I said let me think about it.....
Wow, for a soft boob on my face, I almost shelled out 20K... Close one!!! hahahaha...
So that's the story on how I grown to like something I used to hate and dread all the time...
Anyways, just this year if i remember correctly.... I'm scheduled to have my teeth cleaned... So when I went to the dentist's clinic, as usual he was busy with someone so the lady ask me, would the assistant do? I said fine whatever... So when I went in, the male assisant apparently quit and he was replaced by this hot and sexy assistant... And everytime she would check my teeth for cavities I get to rest my face/head on her soft boob.... hahahah... Now we're talking...
One time I struck a conversation with her... Since teeth whitening just popped in my head that's what i asked about... She smiled and took a look on the charts.... Comparing my teeth and determining which shade i was... Bottom line price was 20K... Expensibo!!!
So I asked for a discount, then she doesn't have the power to give it so she refered me to the head dentist which I asked again... Can I have a discount? So he said 16K at the same time I was saying ahh... maybe 18K.... Then came silence... Boy was that an ackward moment of silence....
Anyways, he said he guarantees that I'll get 2 shades whiter and I asked if he can make it as white as a black guy's teeth? He said no.... asians have no possibility of getting that white so I said let me think about it.....
Wow, for a soft boob on my face, I almost shelled out 20K... Close one!!! hahahaha...
So that's the story on how I grown to like something I used to hate and dread all the time...
The Dentist I
I'm sure most of us are afraid of our dentists... It's plain torture just hearing the sound of the drill...
Going back to when I was a kid, my dad would take me to this old dentist with initials E.C. in downtown Manila. Everytime I would go there, she would discover some new hole in my teeth. If there's no hole she'll make a hole and show to my dad and would drill me till kingdom come! In other words, she conned my dad into believing that i need a filling. Then my dad thought this dentist was so good that he introduced her to my aunts.
Now I'm not alone in the torture shack during summertime. Everytime, my cousin goes in first I can hear the drilling the screams of pain and the opera music coming from EC's clinic would make me wanna go take a crap.
Now that I'm all grown up, same oral hygiene habbits and same sweet tooth I seldom have cavities... I now go to a new dentist EC must be probably dead by now anyways. And to my surprise, when they check for cavities they just use mirrors no yanking and scrapping like EC used to do...
All I can say, after the first visit to a dentist after a long time of Torture was I just want to picture me holding a barena/drill and drilling the crap out of EC's teeth for payback. Son of a Bitch!
Going back to when I was a kid, my dad would take me to this old dentist with initials E.C. in downtown Manila. Everytime I would go there, she would discover some new hole in my teeth. If there's no hole she'll make a hole and show to my dad and would drill me till kingdom come! In other words, she conned my dad into believing that i need a filling. Then my dad thought this dentist was so good that he introduced her to my aunts.
Now I'm not alone in the torture shack during summertime. Everytime, my cousin goes in first I can hear the drilling the screams of pain and the opera music coming from EC's clinic would make me wanna go take a crap.
Now that I'm all grown up, same oral hygiene habbits and same sweet tooth I seldom have cavities... I now go to a new dentist EC must be probably dead by now anyways. And to my surprise, when they check for cavities they just use mirrors no yanking and scrapping like EC used to do...
All I can say, after the first visit to a dentist after a long time of Torture was I just want to picture me holding a barena/drill and drilling the crap out of EC's teeth for payback. Son of a Bitch!
ESP?
My parents are moving to a new house. They've lived there for more than 25years. Now, they are building a new house and while waiting... I told them... You know why don't you sell the house first before moving? I mean it's good to have cash around...
So i suggested, why not sell it to our neighbor... He's rich and he always contributes to charity.. Which means he's got a good heart and a good bank account... They bought practically the whole vicinity except our house.
My dad said, no rush we can always sell this old house anytime... I guess the old man wasn't as excited to part ways with the house where he lived and raised his kids through good and bad times. Then i said, we'll why don't you sell it while the old neighbor is still alive... During mornings, I hear him coughing.. and boy did he cough.... I can sell it to him if you want I added... I would come up to him and say... Hey Mr. Chua, my family and I are moving cause we can't afford this house anymore... Would you be interested in your kind heart to help us out and buy our home? I'm sure he'll bite. Cause if he passed away and his kids inherits the money.. They are all young and ambitious.. They won't buy the house for a high price since they are not eager to part with their money yet....
Anyways, my dad said no... And a week after the old neighbor died....
Somehow I told you so doesn't quite say it... but Godbless Mr. Chua wherever he is now.
So i suggested, why not sell it to our neighbor... He's rich and he always contributes to charity.. Which means he's got a good heart and a good bank account... They bought practically the whole vicinity except our house.
My dad said, no rush we can always sell this old house anytime... I guess the old man wasn't as excited to part ways with the house where he lived and raised his kids through good and bad times. Then i said, we'll why don't you sell it while the old neighbor is still alive... During mornings, I hear him coughing.. and boy did he cough.... I can sell it to him if you want I added... I would come up to him and say... Hey Mr. Chua, my family and I are moving cause we can't afford this house anymore... Would you be interested in your kind heart to help us out and buy our home? I'm sure he'll bite. Cause if he passed away and his kids inherits the money.. They are all young and ambitious.. They won't buy the house for a high price since they are not eager to part with their money yet....
Anyways, my dad said no... And a week after the old neighbor died....
Somehow I told you so doesn't quite say it... but Godbless Mr. Chua wherever he is now.
The Toilet
I'm sure everyone of you have encountered toilets which can't take in toilet papers....
I mean isn't that the whole concept of toilets? You're supposed to be able to flush down all sorts of garbage in it... Like the famous words: flushing it down the toilet....
Anyways, I had a home service massage one Friday afternoon... My friend hooked me up with a massuese who's supposed to be good.... So ok ok... give it a shot....
After the massage, it was ok... not the greatest of massages since the lady is clearly not attractive... I think she should have been the one paying me grabbing my butt like that... moving on... she asked if she could use the CR... I said of course... it's the door next to the main entrance... So she used it for a long time... Then finally she came out all relieved.... and I paid her for her services and then she left....
The next morning, as i was about to take out the trash, I bent down to take the bag from the CR can... And all the toilet paper with poop in it was there!!!! disgusting... almost threw up and it caught me by surprise....
Guess that's the end of that massuese and that's when i realized that toilets are now exclusively for shit...
I mean isn't that the whole concept of toilets? You're supposed to be able to flush down all sorts of garbage in it... Like the famous words: flushing it down the toilet....
Anyways, I had a home service massage one Friday afternoon... My friend hooked me up with a massuese who's supposed to be good.... So ok ok... give it a shot....
After the massage, it was ok... not the greatest of massages since the lady is clearly not attractive... I think she should have been the one paying me grabbing my butt like that... moving on... she asked if she could use the CR... I said of course... it's the door next to the main entrance... So she used it for a long time... Then finally she came out all relieved.... and I paid her for her services and then she left....
The next morning, as i was about to take out the trash, I bent down to take the bag from the CR can... And all the toilet paper with poop in it was there!!!! disgusting... almost threw up and it caught me by surprise....
Guess that's the end of that massuese and that's when i realized that toilets are now exclusively for shit...
U-turn scheme
Bayani seriously... tao lo si lo ka tseng le. Bwe ko ke eh... (what my chinese gf always says to me and i thought this was the most approriate thing to describe Bayani)
U turn??? Argh!!! where do I even begin???
How on earth do you expect cripples to cross the damn streets?
Instead of just turning left, nooo.... you have to go all the way down the street take a u-turn and back track... More time, more gas, more mileage... (C5 for example).
Abolish the MMDA and let the over paid or self paid mayor's of each city run the show... Put their money where their mouth is... GEEEZZZ!!!
Pink Fences and cement blocks??? Nigga please!! Do you even know how to drive? Or did your dad drive you then you was a little boy that messed you up in the head?
Think first before acting.
U turn??? Argh!!! where do I even begin???
How on earth do you expect cripples to cross the damn streets?
Instead of just turning left, nooo.... you have to go all the way down the street take a u-turn and back track... More time, more gas, more mileage... (C5 for example).
Abolish the MMDA and let the over paid or self paid mayor's of each city run the show... Put their money where their mouth is... GEEEZZZ!!!
Pink Fences and cement blocks??? Nigga please!! Do you even know how to drive? Or did your dad drive you then you was a little boy that messed you up in the head?
Think first before acting.
Pasaway
Don't you just hate the word pasaway???
Seriously..... what the fuck???
Correct me if I'm wrong.... Saway means scold... Sawayin means to scold... This clearly is a verb... I hate hearing it when it's used as a noun... Hence Pa-saway... People especially girls love using this word to describe or call a guy when flirting... Pasaway ka talaga Melchor... Then she giggles... hihihi... They love using it to fellow ladies... Pasaway ka talaga sheila ang landi landi mo gaga nakalabas na bra mo.... I drives me nuts hearing this.... Super pa cute...!!!
All i can say is this... Ladies... Please!
Seriously..... what the fuck???
Correct me if I'm wrong.... Saway means scold... Sawayin means to scold... This clearly is a verb... I hate hearing it when it's used as a noun... Hence Pa-saway... People especially girls love using this word to describe or call a guy when flirting... Pasaway ka talaga Melchor... Then she giggles... hihihi... They love using it to fellow ladies... Pasaway ka talaga sheila ang landi landi mo gaga nakalabas na bra mo.... I drives me nuts hearing this.... Super pa cute...!!!
All i can say is this... Ladies... Please!
The Gas
It happened some time last January...
The Boss called me in the conference room for a meeting as I collected my stuff from my office before going in and the door closed behind me leaving a slight opening to the general office outside.
To my surprise, the whole conference room smelled like fart... I think my boss farted just before i entered and being there alone in a confined room I didn't think he could have smelled his own fart... I mean, he could have smelled it when it came out but never had a clue that the stink was all over the room.
It was a one on one meeting, I was prepared for it and as he was asking me questions, I couldn't answer... Boy did he think i was stupid and unprepared but the truth is I couldn't breath cause of the stench in the room. I tried kicking the door as the tip of my toe bare touches the door, it opens and closes again and again.
Sadly, this was one of the rare times I was prepared but some guys just have all the luck!!!
The Boss called me in the conference room for a meeting as I collected my stuff from my office before going in and the door closed behind me leaving a slight opening to the general office outside.
To my surprise, the whole conference room smelled like fart... I think my boss farted just before i entered and being there alone in a confined room I didn't think he could have smelled his own fart... I mean, he could have smelled it when it came out but never had a clue that the stink was all over the room.
It was a one on one meeting, I was prepared for it and as he was asking me questions, I couldn't answer... Boy did he think i was stupid and unprepared but the truth is I couldn't breath cause of the stench in the room. I tried kicking the door as the tip of my toe bare touches the door, it opens and closes again and again.
Sadly, this was one of the rare times I was prepared but some guys just have all the luck!!!
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